Alone
by carylfan10
Summary: Elliot is seriously hurt and Olivia's afraid she might not get the chance to tell him how he really feels. Some Fin/Munch/Cragen.
1. Chapter 1

Late at night, around 11 p.m, Olivia shoved the pillows off to the side of the couch and changed positions. It was a Saturday night and she still couldn't sleep. This was her night off, it had been a particularly grueling week, and all she wanted to do was unwind. 11:00. Too early to sleep, too late to really do anything. Olivia flipped through the channels and all she could find were crime dramas. She didn't need to watch them-she lived them. For a minute she thought about calling her partner, Elliot, but knew she couldn't. It was probably his weekend with the kids. She remembered him saying something about it but she purposely tuned him about. She didn't want to let herself know his schedule.

After all, that was part of their job duties-they needed to be able to reach each other, to know where the other one was at, to share information pertaining to a case. But this was different, and she needed to keep it that way. Just as she had to have strict boundaries in her work identity, it was even more important that she keep them for her personal life. Things didn't always work out that way, however.

For example, she knew that Casey was on a date with a guy that Olivia had went to school with, and that Casey was looking forward to it. But for some reason with Elliot, it was different. Probably because he was male. That must be it. After all, she couldn't really picture Munch out for a night with the ladies, so that's the reason she didn't want to picture Elliot out on his free weekends. Some things are better left unknown.

_Okay, this is nuts_, she thought. _Time to leave work behind. I'm not dead after all. Time for a girl's night out._

Elliot was pissed. His wife, or soon to be ex wife, had made last minute plans with the kids. It wasn't like her to do that, but then again, he hadn't been divorced from her long enough to really know what she would be like on "his" weekends. Yes, the kids all had friends, and he understood that. It was great, but just not on his time. He even argued with Kathy when he went to pick up his kids and they weren't there.But the guilt of the separation had taken its toll on him, and he wasn't really in the mood to argue with his kids. It was bad enough that they had seen some of the fights between their parents.

Actually, truth be told, he really could use a free weekend. This week had been especially bad, and he had even had to go talk to someone about this case. They had found a man that was suspected of rape. Elliot didn't even think for the second that this guy was innocent. He was guilty, and the worst part was, that it looked as if he might walk. He couldn't pinpoint exactly what it was about this particular case that just torn at him. The shrink suggested that the fact that a child was born of that rape was the fact that bothered him so much. After all, that was the circumstance in which his partner, Olivia, had been born. Of course, Elliot dismissed it as shrink talk, that they all just tried to connect _t_hings for no reason.

_Enough of this_, he thought. He knew what he needed to do next.

A few drinks later Elliot was feeling pretty good. He'd run into a couple of guys he knew from the gym, and they managed to enjoy the evening. He almost forgot how pissed off at Kathy he was. Hell, he'd even caught a few girls checking him out. Force of habit, he looked down at his wedding ring. She'd stopped wearing hers even before the divorce was final, but he wasn't ready to remove his quite yet. That thought depressed him, so he decided it was time for another drink.

"Be right back guys."

As he made his way through the crowd he thought he heard a familiar voice. He turned around and a few feet away from him and sure enough, it was Olivia. He was about to go over to tease her about being there, but she was clearly having a great time. Besides, she sure cleaned up nicely. He was used to seeing her in her work attire, and he turned away quickly fearing she might spot him.

"Hey!"

Okay so she spotted him. He turned around again, but was more than a little disappointed. The friendly greeting wasn't directed towards him after all, but rather towards her date. Who, in his opinion, wasn't all that attractive. She could do better. But hey, what did he know about love?

And it wasn't like Olivia was in love. It was a date. Certainly not one that was important or he'd have heard about it. Since she was with a group he surmised it was a blind date, and he laughed. He'll hear all about it after all. But he stopped to give her one last look before turning back to his friends.

Although he tried to keep conversation going with his buddies, Elliot couldn't concentrate. He was distracted , but he couldn't pinpoint what was bothering him. The curse of having a cop's instinct was that he couldn't turn it off, even on his night off.

In fact, if he hadn't been so distracted he might have noticed that Olivia had spotted him. Actually she was very happy to see him. Her friends had been teasing her about always been a cop, even on her days off. She didn't want them to know about Elliot. After all, she needed to keep her job and personal life separate. But that didn't mean she couldn't say hi.

She was excusing herself, making her way over to say hi when she saw him laughing with a group of friends. Including one blonde that was awfully friendly with him. So Olivia said nothing, and went back to her group of friends. _Must have a thing for blondes_, she figured. For some reason that irritated the crap out of her.

"So Liv… How was your weekend?"Elliot asked as he poured some coffee Monday morning. "Want some?"

"Not really." She didn't realize how curtly she'd responded. She went on her way, not making eye contact, and preceded over to her desk.

If he didn't know better he could have sworn Olivia was mad at him. Like a big brother who couldn't resist picking on his sister, he followed her to her desk.

"What's wrong? Date night go bad?"

She glared at him. How dare he come over to rub it in her face that he had a perfectly great time on his date Saturday night, while she was stuck on the blind date from hell? The man her friend introduced her to was a perfectly nice guy, but he wasn't exactly her type. He was an accountant, and other than the fact they lived in New York City, they had nothing in common. Her friend Lilly had snuck to the restroom to page Olivia , faking an emergency at the station,so she got the out that she needed to end the date.

"How's Kathy?" She didn't even look at him. He had some nerve questioning her about her love life. She knew that if she looked up she would have caught a pained expression on his face, and she didn't want to feel bad for him. All she wanted to do today was get going on her job without any hassle from anyone. In this day and age she certainly didn't feel like she needed to justify her love life with anyone. Deep down Olivia felt more than a little sad at the knowledge that those kinds of questions were appropriate for family members. This was going to be a great day, she sighed.

"I know when I'm not wanted." He paused, trying to get a reaction from her, to no avail. "Get that a lot lately." He walked away.

"Elliot."

She had been out of line and she knew it. She just couldn't let anyone push her buttons, not even her long time partner.

"You forgot your coffee."

"Right." He caught Munch sneaking in late and decided to give him some grief about it.

"hot date keeping you up at night? Can't even make it to work on time?" Elliot laughed. As soon as Fin heard that remark, he, too, joined his coworkers at the watercooler. He never could resist an opportunity to give Munch some grief.

Great, Oliva sighed. Elliot couldn't stop joking to everyone about dates. It was obvious to her what was on his mind. That blond must have made one heck of an impression on him.

Then the gold ring on her partner's hand caught her eye. She felt guilty for thinking those thoughts. She knew the divorce had been hell on Elliot, so she couldn't begrudge him a little action in her date. She shook her head without even realizing it. The last thing that she wanted to think about was Elliot and another woman. After all, he needed to be able to stay focused on his job. In no way was he ready for another relationship, she decided. She could only hope that he would share her point of view.

Olivia's conscious got the better of her, and she wanted to apologize for the comment about Kathy.But as soon as she looked up from her desk, Elliot had obviously forgotten about it. There he was, still _laughing with Munch and Fin. She knew that he probably hadn't even given her a second thought. _

_Right_, she thought. He's her partner. Not family, not friend. Before she could think about it further Cragen bellowed her to his office. She grinned. Not too often she looked forward to his grilling but this time she did. Back to business as usual.

Another hard day at work. The case of a serial rapist had been particularly draining on everyone. Olivia in particular had had a very tough time with this one. The man had fathered a child from one of those rapes. Casey had prosecuted him for the assault, but he had had a very good and high-priced attorney. The truth of the child's paternity had been revealed during the trial. As a result, the father was suing for custody. The mother had turned to alcohol to numb the pain that he had caused. But she still functioned as a mother. In fact she was a very good mother. She dedicated her life to making things better for her son. Her son, who was seven, had severe autism. He was unable to connect with the outside world. When he was over stimulated he covered his ears loudly. Anita hadn't been able to afford many things for her son. She was a single mom who worked as a waitress. She certainly couldn't provide any tutors or assistants for her son. Public assistance simply covered the basic medical bills.

Joe Madison, the father, saw an opportunity. He came from a well known family. He was a dentist, and could provide the material things that Adam's mother couldn't. In fact, the anesthesia he used in his practice is what he had used to assist in his sexual assault of Anita. But, as often happens, money talks. He had been found not guilty by a jury of his peers. And now he felt free to sue for custody of his son.

Captain Cragen had suggested that Olivia and Elliot join him after work for a cocktail. Of course, he wouldn't touch a drink. His sobriety was a blessing and a curse. He'd witnessed many horrific crimes that he wanted badly to erase from his mind. It would be so easy to take that first drink. Somehow, through the years, and with the help of a terrific A.A. sponsor, he'd realized that first drink would never be enough. He had another drunk in him, but he didn't think he would have another recovery. Above all, however, he had learned that he owed it most of all to the victims that he helped to stay sober. They needed an objective advocate, and he tried at all times to be that voice. Cragen looked over at the team, staring blankly a little longer than what was normal. Elliot was the protector, Olivia the mother figure. And the captain had to be the voice of reason no matter what.

Objectivity- a trait that even the best of law enforcement could lose at times. And he prided himself on his team; he counted on them to be the best of the best. Olivia was tough as nails, and her compassion for victims filled a void that could never be replaced if she were to ever leave. She had turned her tragic circumstances into an opportunity to make her world a better place, and he would always respect her for that. Resentment for lesser problems caused many good cops to leave their jobs or become corrupted.

Then there was Elliot. Fearless and relentless in his pursuit of the perps, he nonetheless was a hothead. There was no way around that fact. Cragen had put his own reputation on the line for some of Elliot's behaviors. And he would continue to do so, for Elliot was an asset to the force. Sometimes he could have, and should have, showed more restraint in his arrests. But overall Elliot was a man of virtue. Right or wrong, he always stuck to his guns so to speak. It would be impossible not to respect a man who was so committed to his beliefs. His divorce was extremely difficult for Elliot. More than once the captain offered to open his door for his detective anytime. It was a gesture that he made sparingly, and Elliot recognized it. But he insisted on not bringing his problems to work; actually, Cragen noticed, he was working longer hours than usual. He slept more at the station's unit than he did at his house.

Meanwhile Eliot kept glancing at Olivia. Maybe it was his imagination but she seemed to be avoiding his looks. Ordinarily he would have found a moment to ask her if she was okay. But considering her coldness to him on the previous workday, and the circumstances of today's case, he thought better of it. She was a stubborn and hard-headed woman, and she would come around if she wanted to. Their partnership could never have lasted as long as it had without the give and take of trust. They had some bickering over the years, but that was to be expected. Tensions flew high in their line of work. Elliot had made the mistake in his marriage in taking his frustrations out on Kathy. His now ex-wife never had been unable to understand the reasons for that anger. But Olivia could. Her understanding had helped him throughout the darkest days of his life. When his marriage had fallen apart, it was Olivia who he confided in. Munch was great in that he could trade divorce horror stories with him. And of course, Fin also had had his share of baby mama drama, in Fin's own words. His buddies could always be counted on to help him lighten up.

But it was Olivia in whom he had confided in. She would never betray him, and he appreciated that fact. Eventually his own wife couldn't understand him anymore, and she left for good. He could never admit to his partner that he couldn't stand it when she was angry with him.

Right now, however, his partner was angry.

" Casey screwed up. I can't believe the way she handled, or mishandled the prosecution. She might have well been working for the defense! "

Cragen raised his eyebrow. Personally he agreed with Olivia. His years of working with different personality types had taught him to remain silent when need be. The two women had different ways of confronting problems. Casey preferred to play things by the book, while Olivia had, like Elliot, been known to take liberties in certain situations. In this case, he decided to play devil's advocate.

"Olivia, you knew that the paternity would have to come out in court. There was no way that Casey could lie about it." He continued before she could have a chance to interrupt. " I completely agree with you. That child's best interest is clearly with the mother. But that is not our call to make."

Olivia shook her head. " Because of her that innocent child will have to pay the price. Not only does the mother have to live with what he did every day of her life, but she has chosen to raise her child. She does a damn good job, too, because not everyone in her situation would do as well. Just because she's poor does not give that idiot a right to take her child away from her! He already took enough."

The trio became quiet. The men knew that Olivia was right, and there was a reason she was so compassionate. She had tried to say the reason she was so passionate about this case was because the child had special needs. True, that was a big part of it. But both Cragen and Elliot knew that she was fighting for someone the way she would have wanted someone to fight for her.

"Liv…" Elliot said gently as he lightly brushed her arm. "it's out of your hands now."

"No, Elliot. Don't you dare defend Casey. Maybe you should work for her, if that's how you really feel."

"no that's not what I mean, and you know that."

"I'm just saying that you don't seem to understand that the system has violated her once again. And you can sit there and defend Casey for her role in this."

"okay you two." Cragen motioned the server for the bill. He handed him a twenty. "Keep the change. And you two, " he glanced sternly at his detectives, "will be catching a cab home. I will personally see to that." He shook his head. Sometimes they acted more like brother and sister than partners. He always worried about that bond, and was concerned that it would, at one point, do more harm than good. But knew that Elliot needed stability at this point in his life more than ever. Honestly, Cragen did not know how long Stabler would last if he didn't have his job, his coworkers, - and Olivia.

That is all for right now, I am currently working on the next part. This is my very first fanfic, so I would really appreciate any feedback! 


	2. Chapter 2

"Olivia, you have a visitor." Cragen motioned for her to follow him into her office. Everyone looked, but no one said anything. Elliot continued with his paperwork. Of course, he was dying to know what happened. But with all of the bickering between his partner and himself lately, he wasn't about to make eye contact with her. He couldn't let her know that he did, in fact, care about the distance between him. His stubborn pride prevented an apology, especially when he hadn't done anything wrong.

Olivia wasn't surprised to see Casey standing beside Cragen's desk. She had long suspected this day would come-retaliation for Olivia's reactions after Elliot had been temporarily blinded. Casey had felt badly for calling Elliot to the witness stand. But given the opportunity she would have done the exact same thing. Olivia had been pissed, to say the least. Casey understood her feelings. What she hadn't forgiven, however, was the fact that Olivia went above her head to protest her handling of the case. There was no way she could forget how her career had been in jeopardy. Logically, she blamed no one but herself. But Olivia had been doing an awful lot of second –guessing of Casey's cases lately, and she just couldn't take the chance of not knowing what Olivia might do.

"Olivia, there appears to be some misunderstandings between you and Ms. Novak. Do you care to explain yourself?"

" I'm sorry, but I don't feel that Casey…"

"Ms. Novak."

Olivia just ignored her. "Casey did not handle the prosecution of the Madison case as well as she could have."

"So now we are acting on behalf of the judicial process?" Cragen asked. He felt bad but he needed to remain impartial.

"How can you say that? It was obvious that she was not prepared in the least… this sick son of a bitch walked. That is all the evidence anyone needs in order to question her presentation!" Olivia knew that her tone of voice was harsher than she meant it to be. Actually she had nothing against Casey. Her head told her that there was nothing more that she could have done to get a conviction. Emotionally, however, she couldn't help but be angry. This case hit close to home, as she herself was the product of a rape.

Casey bit her tongue. It was all she could do to question Olivia about her judgment. Ironically Benson was now guilty of the same partial feelings about a case that she had accused Casey of having.If she was in Olivia's shoes she would feel the exact same way. But she just couldn't take any chances in any further damage to her reputation with the force. They were all on the side of justice, but they had very different roles.

"Detective Benson," Casey started. Olivia just glared. "I would appreciate any further complaints about my work be strictly confined to privacy. Just so you know, a jury member had overheard your comments about my handling of this case."

"Olivia," Captain Cragen stepped in. "Had the jury heard such comments before the trial was over, we would be having an entirely different conversation at this moment. Are we on the same page?" There, he thought. That should pacify Casey while not coming down harshly on his detective. He didn't give her a chance to respond. "You may return to your work now."

Olivia couldn't just let it drop. This was nothing but retaliation on Casey's part, and the worse part was, she used the captain to do her dirty work. At least Alex would have took her aside, but not embarrass her.

"You don't understand what she's doing…"

"It is your lunch hour." Cragen said, quite sternly.

"But.."

"It is your lunch hour. If you don't want to take a lunch I could arrange for a half vacation day."

Olivia walked out, still furious. Just the previous night the captain had listened while Olivia had voiced her opinions. If he had something to say, then he should have said it then. She missed Alex more and more every day.

She headed straight to her locker to grab her purse. It was a good thing she had had her back turned, or she might have caught the looks that Fin and Elliot exchanged.

But she did hear her name mentioned. "Do you have something you would like to say to me Elliot?"

"Not a word."

They stood face to face, a little closer than other partners might have. One could have heard a pin drop.

Of course Olivia wasn't really angry with Elliot. It was his getting hurt that had set the wheels in motion for her resentment against Casey. When she looked into his eyes she had a flashback of his temporary blindness, and how scared she was for him. As emotionally drained as she was, it was all she could do to hold back a tear. She gazed down so that he couldn't see how she was feeling.

"El…"

Before she could say anything else, Fin interrupted. "I hate to break up this little lover's quarrel but we just got another phone call."

Olivia and Elliot both took a step back, wondering the same thing. For one brief moment Elliot allowed himself to wonder what Fin saw that made him make that comment. If anyone but Fin had said that he probably would have decked him.But then his cop instinct took over, and he took off, with Olivia right behind him. Meanwhile Olivia wasn't quite sure why she had gotten emotional over her work comrade.


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia was pissed. Usually she had a pretty good handle on her emotions, but today was different. It seemed as if she were mad at everyone; rather, it felt as if they had all betrayed her. Casey running her mouth, Cragen defending her, Elliot..not defending her.

No, she told herself, it was simply that he went out on the call without her. Fin didn't have to offer to take her place. John Munch was probably the only person she wasn't angry with. Elliot could have stood up for her. That lack of support was what bothered her the most.

The unexpected free time was starting to get to her. She picked up her cell phone and checked it to see if she had missed any calls. She hadn't. She wanted to know what was going on the case, or that's what she told herself. Olivia dialed Elliot's number and no one answered. She called three more times but he never did answer. Forget it, she sighed. This day called for a drink. But since she didn't feel like leaving her apartment she settled for a cup of tea. She reached for her mug and realized that she had accidentally taken her partner's coffee cup instead. Olivia couldn't even get away from Elliot, even when he was not around.

"Olivia, this is Captain Cragen." The voice on the answering had begun. " I realize that it is two in the morning, but I need you to come in. Call me….No just come in. Call me to let me know that you got this message. " he kept pausing, wanting to say more. If Olivia didn't know better she's swear he had been crying. Or perhaps, more likely, he had gone days without sleep. She decided to get a cup of coffee before leaving.

"Olivia…" the answering machine played again.. pick up…"

This time she made it to the phone. "Benson."

"Did you get my message? I've tried calling your cell about half a dozen times." She grabbed her phone and saw that it was true.

"I'm sorry…I must have accidently turned it off."

"I really don't care. All I care about is that you come to the station immediately."

"What happened...is everything…"

"Liv, stay put. I'm sending a cruiser after you. I don't want you to drive."

"I'll be okay…"

"This is an order. Do not drive." He hung up abruptly. That was odd, but she had no choice but to wait for her escort. She had no clue as to what was going on, but soon enough she would truly appreciate his order. Otherwise she very well would not have survived the night.

It was strange. Two am and everyone was alert. Everyone, except for Elliot. He must be catching some sleep. Fin and Munch both approached her.  
"Liv baby…" Fin put his hand on her arm. " You need to sit. Can I get you some coffee?"

"No! I don't want anything. What is going on? Would you mind telling me what's going on?" She knew something was wrong, very wrong.

"I think you should go see the Captain." Munch said gently. "We will be right here…"

Suddenly she felt very very sick to her stomach. The only other time she had that feeling was the night she found out her mother had died. No..it couldn't be…..

Munch and Fin led her to see Cragen, and this time she didn't put up a fight.

"Shut the door. You two, wait outside. I'll let you know when I need you." He nodded solemnly. Munch and Fin knew the exact reason they would soon be called in. And it wouldn't be pretty. He purposely raised the blinds on his door a few inches. Lowering them would be the cue to step in.

"Olivia…"

"What is going on. Where's Elliot? What happened?"

He looked down for a minute. He had had to break bad news many many times throughout the career. That was something no one could possibly get used to doing. The only way to do this was to be straight with his detective.

"I wish to God I didn't have to do this, but you should here this from me. Elliot..he was shot this morning in the line of duty."

Her eyes widened. "Well he's okay, isn't he? We've all been hurt on the job. He's sleeping. I'll call him, he always answers for me.."

"No, he has been shot. It doesn't look like he will make it. He'd just left the office. It happened only two blocks away…"

She could not comprehend what she was hearing.

"I'm so sorry."

"No…he's not…you're lying…."

"I'm sorry…"

"you are lying! Why are you doing this to me? Let me see him…I need to get to the hospital!"

"Believe me, Olivia, I wish this was not true. "

"Fin and Munch are going to take you to the hospital. We thought it best that you not drive. I'll be there shortly."

" Detective…" Cragen said. "it's okay to cry."


	4. Chapter 4

Outside, Munch and Fin were still in a state of shock. But, like protective big brothers, they knew that they had to be strong for Olivia's sake.

"She knows him better than anyone else." Fin shook his head.

"Probably better than his ex-wife ever did. And believe me, I know about …" John started. Humor was the only way he knew to try to comprehend what had happened. He knew that was Fin's style too. That's one reason they were a great team.

"I know, I know…you know all about ex-wives. What a shock, what, with all that charm."

"I haven't seen an invitation you your wedding." Munch adjusted his glasses.

"My excuse is my job. Besides, who said I would invite you anyways?"

"El…El…it's me. Liv. El, can you hear me." She sat on the side of his bed, careful not to disturb any of the tubes or machines that were keeping her partner alive.

"El…wake up… it's okay…I'm here…" By this time she had allowed only a few tears to fall. "It's okay. I'm not going anywhere." She took hold of his hand and kissed it softly. "Come back to me…I need you..We need you….your kids need you…"

He looked awful. He couldn't die like this. He just couldn't. She would never get a chance to tell him goodbye. She could never tell him how she really felt about him.

"Don't leave me, El. I'm not going to let anything happen to you. You fought for me so many times. I'm going to fight for you." She touched his face. "Nothing's going to happen to you. You will be fine. I'll make sure of that. I'm not going to leave you. Not now….please just talk to me. Open your eyes. Just look at me, that's all I'm asking. Please. Please. Please."

No response.

"Just squeeze my hand. That's all I'm asking of you. Please, El…for me…please…"

Finally Kathy showed up. She didn't look too pleased to see Olivia in the room. Even though she and Elliot were divorced she couldn't help but be a little jealous of the bond those two shared. The doctor was right behind her.

"I'm sorry, Detective, but it's family only…"

Olivia furiously stood up. "I am family."

The doctor looked at Kathy. She shook her head no. She didn't want her kids to see another woman at their father's beside. "I'm sorry Olivia. I just think it's best…"

"No you don't! Besides you are not family anymore." She glared. "You are his ex wife. Elliot and I are together every day. If you think I'm leaving you are crazy. And don't even think about having me escorted out. I have too many friends in high places. So the way I see it, Kathy, you don't have much of a choice."

Oliva had fallen asleep by his beside. For a minute she forgot where she was, that everything was just a bad dream. Then she looked around the room.

"El…I'm going to find out who did this to you. I'm not going to let that asshole get away with this." She touched his cheek. "I'll be back tonight. You're going to get through this. Then you can go back to being the pain in the butt you always were." She teased. If she didn't know better she swore he blinked at that comment. "You're going to be okay, I promise. "

Before she left, Olivia kissed his cheek. At first that felt awkward, but she didn't care. She would kiss his lips if that meant he would be okay.

Later that night, after Olivia visited Elliot, she finally went home. As soon as she shut and locked her door, she slid down, with her back against the door. That's when it sank in. The tears finally started flowing. And just like the dam when it finally burst, the tears just poured out. Her chest tightened, to where she could have sworn it was a heart attack; she knew it was a panic attack. She couldn't breathe.

It was a time like this she could have really used a man around to hold her. Suddenly the memory of Elliot hugging her came to mind. After all they'd been through, she couldn't bear the thought of losing him.

There was a nagging feeling though, that it was much more than the job. All she could think about was being in his arms. No one in the world gave her that feeling of security the way Elliot did. And she never really appreciated it until now, when it might be too late.

All those quarrels, all those sarcastic comments, all those times he seemed to be pushing her away…. It made sense. He was pushing her away for a reason, and not because he felt he needed to babysit her.

Now she knew exactly how he felt when he was mad at her for getting hurt on the day the little boy was killed at the bus station. He wasn't angry with her- he was angry at himself for having feelings for her. He told her that the best things in his life were his job- and her.

For the first time Olivia allowed herself to rethink her relationship with her partner. He was more than a partner. The picture she'd taken of him, in the frame he bought her for her birthday one year, was facing her from where she sat. All she wanted was to see him smile again.

Never had she wanted so badly to be with someone.


	5. Chapter 5

A loud knock on the door woke Olivia up. She jumped up and peeked out. It was Munch and Fin.

"Come in. What time is it?"

" 630 am. Sorry to barge in on you like this." Fin said. "But we have a couple of developments you want to know about."

She looked panicked. "What is it, is he okay..did something happen…"

"No don't get all worked up yet. He just had some problems breathing. I'm not going to lie to you, Liv. It doesn't look good. We're going to visit and we figured you'd like to come along."

"I don't know if I can…" she sighed. "The perp is still out there…"

"Olivia. You need to trust us on this one. Neither of us are going to let this guy walk. I've got all my connections from homicide working on this. I'm not going to rest until we catch this guy."

Munch spoke up. "Besides an intern has given up his crashing pad for you. You don't have to leave your partner. We've got you covered. Fin is right. There is no way this man is walking. We have some leads. But that's our job right now. I think Elliot needs you more with him at the hospital than out on the streets doing our jobs. Go grab a change of clothes. While you're at it see if you have something for Fin. I hear pastels are his colors."

"Sorry buddy." Liv smiled in spite of herself. "You never returned that pink shirt I let you borrow."

"Elliot. I'm here." He looked even paler than before. "Elliot…I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. " She held his hand.

His eyes started blinking. He's waking up, she thought. "We need a doctor. He's awake." She ran out into the hallway. "You need to come here…Stabler woke up…"

He smiled. "we already know. He woke up last night. His family is on the way. We're going to send a nurse in to monitor him in a few minutes."

Last night…when she realized she cared about him as more than a partner..that is when he woke up. Olivia was right, they had a connection that was deeper than she'd realized. Now she was absolutely sure of what she had to do.

"Elliot…it's me… can you see me okay?"

He opened his eyes, as if he'd only been asleep. He was groggy, but he sure was glad to see Olivia.

"maybe you're confused. This is a different hospital visit. " he said weakly. Always had a smart remark to make. That was just one of the reasons she adored him.

"Where are the kids?"

"they're on their way. Ssh ..take it easy." She stroked his cheek. "It's going to be okay. You are tough and strong, and you can do anything…it's alright."

He wasn't used to hearing such support from a woman. Kathy hadn't understood that part of him. But his partner did.

"Liv…don't cry…"

"I can't help it. I thought I was going to lose you. I don't know what I would have done."

Even though he had an IV tube attached to his arm, he could still touch her face. "you would have been fine. You're strong could take my place at work."

"You don't understand. El. I don't want another partner. I don't want anyone but you." Olivia looked down, because she was afraid of his reaction. She couldn't handle his reaction, so she tried to word it so that he could interpret it as just wanting to work with him. But it was much more than that, and she knew it.

And he knew it too. The only problem was, he still was groggy, and wasn't sure if what he'd heard was right.

Olivia mistook his silence for the rejection she had feared so much. She let go of his hand and walked to the door. "I'm sorry..I didn't mean to make you feel.."

"Make me feel what? Like I'm wanted? That's not the worst thing you could say to me."

Finally the truth was out. "Liv, come here." He took her hand and this time, she wasn't afraid to face him.

"Liv…don't leave. I don't want you to leave."

"I don't want to leave. I won't leave."

"Kathy left me…the kids left...I don't know what I'm saying…all I know is that I .. couldn't stand to lose you. You mean more to me that you know."

"El, you forget how long I've worked with you. I know you, and I know that I feel the same way."

"I was hoping that's what you were going to say." He touched her cheek, and dried her tears. "You know.."

"you don't have to say it. I know that you love me too."

This time, he pulled her close to him. Finally he got to kiss her. "God you're beautiful. " He whispered.

Reluctantly, she pulled away. Reality had sunk in. "I have to go. Kathy and the kids will be here."

He just nodded. "Promise you'll be back?"

"You can count on that." She smiled, and left the room.

What she hadn't counted on was Munch and Fin waiting outside of the room.

"What?" she asked. " I was just being ..friendly."

"Must be nice to have a friendly partner." Fin remarked, then looked at Munch. "Don't even think about it."

"Have you two caught the perp?" Olivia asked.

"We know who is is. Some jerk who had some issues with Elliot. Goes back years. Don't worry, Liv. We'll find him. You want to go for the ride?"

"You know what? Give me a few minutes. I forgot something in the room."

The two detectives grinned. It was about time those two faced how they really felt about each other.

"I forgot something." She grinned. "But I see you're already asleep. I just wanted to know…I feel safe with you. I do love you."

Elliot opened his eyes. " I love you too. Now what was it that you forgot? You never forget anything…"

"I forgot to kiss you goodbye."

"Goodbye?"

"You know what I mean. I'll be waiting for you. " She kissed him again. "I love you."

"Liv you know…I love you too."

The end..rather, the beginning….


End file.
